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The All Star Hostel Part 2 Game

I wanted to watch the All Star Game in its entirety.  I really did.  And I certainly DVR'ed it.  But this thing was quite long; and at times quite tedious.  And I say this as a huge baseball lover and long-time fan of the All Star Game. But come on already. So I flipped back and forth between the game and Hostel Part 2. And only one of the two shows started off their program by telling us about the murder of six people by a crazed gunman; including the killing of a little girl.  No, it was not Hostel Part 2 that began in this fashion but the All Star Game. A fucking baseball game!!!

I am pleading with those that run major American sporting events- please for the Love of Jesus stop having some morbid opening ceremony that features dead kids, paralyzed soldiers, blind musicians, people with debilitating diseases, or anything else scary or sad before what's supposed to be a joyful athletic competition.  This also includes having Sloth from Goonies sing the National Anthem or Verne Troyer riding a little bicycle before the game.

I'm not trying to be insensitive.  I feel bad for these people.  I really do.  And it is because I feel bad that any excitement I have for the game leaves me when we have to hear these traumatic stories that could be addressed on 60 Minutes and not on a program where seconds later a big-headed, blue mascot runs onto the field with sparklers and slips on an over-sized banana peel while the newest Country Music Star sings about "America and Orphans With Scurvy."

Meanwhile Hostel 2 had a scene where kids started to play soccer with the head of one of the characters. Criss cross. I was getting my sports from a Horror movie and my horror from televised sports.

And in closing, Joe Buck strikes me as one of those rich deviants in the Hostel universe that pays large sums of money to torture and kill people in a cold factory. I'd like someone to check his bank records to see if he takes any trips to Slovakia during the off-season.