Have you ever wanted to eat your pet?
a.) No, Dave Man...but I have wanted to piss on my former grade school gym teacher, Mr. Churtle. Too bad he's dead!! (24%)
b.) Sometimes I get the urge to put a WHAM! song on, David, and cut my therapist's toes off... (25%)
c.) I enjoy eating mittens. (26%)
d.) This poll has gotten too weird for me, Dave. I'm gonna leave and do something normal...like tying my penis to a chair and setting them both on fire. (25%)