I was sick all weekend with the shits and pukes. Why does this happen to me?
a.) Because you're a child of Satan, Davey Mac!! You and that Satanic red hair of yours are lucky you're not barfing feces 24/7, 365, you fucking monster!!! (26%)
b.) It's probably your diet, David. You should probably stop eating the apples that I've poisoned in hopes of killing you and inheriting your puppets. (24%)
c.) First thing I'd STOP doing is drinking water out of the public toilets, Dave Man, and chasing it with POO!! (23%)
d.) You should bottle your throw-up and sell it on the black market as "East Side Dave's Bubonic Plague Juice". (27%)