TONIGHT at The Stand in NYC, I shall be performing onstage at the RiotCast.com Night of Comedy (also featuring Bob Kelly, Rich Vos, Jim Flourentine, and others)!! Are you coming?
a.) Sorry, Dave Man!! I have an appointment with my doctor!! The two of us are gonna eat a shitload of prescription pills and then rob a gas station!! Yeeeehhaaww!! (24%)
b.) I do not like going outdoors, David, so I'm afraid I will not be in attendance. I'll be at home, crazy-gluing pieces of a Mr. Potato Head to my dick instead. (23%)
c.) I'll be there, Davey Mac!!! I'm coming with my cousin, Meth'ed-Out Mike, so don't be offended if my cousin assaults you while on stage!! It's his "way" of saying hi!! (27%)
d.) I'm still in the hospital after slicing off my nipples and putting them on a pizza, Dave. (26%)