The Super Bowl is this Sunday!! What do you have planned?!
a.) I'm gonna probably drive to the deli before kickoff and blow the place to fucking HELL with dynamite I found in the woods, Davey Mac!! Those sons of bitches still owe me money from betting on last year's game!! (25%)
b.) I don't like football, David. I prefer sitting at home and stapling little brushes to the heads of mice so that it looks like they have mohawks. (26%)
c.) I'm so psyched for the Super Bowl, Dave Man!! I usually get so drunk and whacked out on PCP that I end up slitting two to four neighbors' throats!!! Yeeehhaaww!! (24%)
d.) I just hope it's a close game. And I also hope I can somehow get my dick out of this jar of needles. In full disclosure, I should never have super-glued it there in the first place. (25%)