I have been sick with the flu. Help me.
a.) Sure, I'll help you, Davey Mac!! Just say "cheese" while I fire this DayQuil/NiQuil combination spray from my shotgun at close range!!! Yeeeeehhahaww!! (24%
b.) I can help you, David, but only with my unconventional medicine methods. First, take out your dick. Second, close your eyes while I chop it off. (25%)
c.) Sorry, I can't help you, Dave Man!! I've got my own problems!! My landlord is suing me for decapitating his cat!! (25%)
d.) Do what I do, Dave...take some LSD and light a forest on fire!! (26%)