News & Videos

Original articles, news, and videos!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Dec. 18)

  One week until Christmas!  Are you excited?!

a.) Fuck YEAH, Dave Man!!  But it's got nothing to do with Christmas!!  It's got more to do with the fact that I just stuck three red, hot peppers in my dick-hole!!  Yeeeeooooowww!!! (24%)

b.) I don't get very excited for anything, David...not since I decided to open my head up with a can-opener and put push-pins on my brain for Halloween. (22%)

c.) I LOVE Christmas, Davey Mac!!  The tree, the cheer, the eggnog, the drunken fights with Santa at my nearby mall which result in me trying to choke him out with a Chick-fil-A sandwich that I shove down his throat while I take a Spencer's Gifts novelty t-shirt with the other hand and wrap it around his fucking neck and all I wanted was to sit on your fucking lap, Santa!!! (28%)

d.) If I get a candy cane shoved in my ass while I'm sleeping again...I'm gonna be pissed... (26%)