News & Videos

Original articles, news, and videos!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- Nov. 26)

  How was your Thanksgiving?

a.) Awesome, Dave Man!!  I got so full on turkey and gravy that I had to unloosen my belt and unbutton my pants right there at the table!!  Then, I took out my ass and shat in Aunt June's fucking lap!!  Then, I stabbed my dick with a fork and let it bleed all over the stuffing!!  I'm so fucking full!!! (27%)

b.) I did not celebrate Thanksgiving with any humans, David.  I did dress up my kittens like pilgrims and Indians, though.  Then I drowned them in the bath-tub. (23%)

c.) I had a BLAST!!!  My mom made her special mashed potatoes which tasted a little like poison and---xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx--- (22%)

d.) I loved the Thanksgiving parade on NBC this year!!  Especially the part where Matt Lauer started eating Savannah Guthrie on live television!!  Boy, Matt should probably stop ingesting bath salts!! (28%)