How was your Thanksgiving?
a.) Awesome, Dave Man!! I got so full on turkey and gravy that I had to unloosen my belt and unbutton my pants right there at the table!! Then, I took out my ass and shat in Aunt June's fucking lap!! Then, I stabbed my dick with a fork and let it bleed all over the stuffing!! I'm so fucking full!!! (27%)
b.) I did not celebrate Thanksgiving with any humans, David. I did dress up my kittens like pilgrims and Indians, though. Then I drowned them in the bath-tub. (23%)
c.) I had a BLAST!!! My mom made her special mashed potatoes which tasted a little like poison and---xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx--- (22%)
d.) I loved the Thanksgiving parade on NBC this year!! Especially the part where Matt Lauer started eating Savannah Guthrie on live television!! Boy, Matt should probably stop ingesting bath salts!! (28%)