How are you feeling today?
a.) I feel GREAT, Dave Man!! I just came back from the County Fair where my dog Chumpy won the blue ribbon for "Biggest Dog Dick"!! I just knew he'd do it!! And you know what Chumpy's gonna get for his win?! That's right- a nice, hand-job from yours truly!! Good dog, Chumpy! (24%)
b.) My day is not very good, David. I just found out that sticking porcupine needles in your dick-hole is a very painful enterprise...oh well...(23%)
c.) Shhhh!!!! I'd tell you how I was feeling, Davey Mac, but I can't talk right now!! I'm hiding under my bed from the cops!! Apparently spraying feces that you've liquified and loaded into a Super Soaker at children waiting at a school bus stop is a crime these days!!! Shhhhh!!! (26%)
d.) I'll be feeling a lot better after I blow up (name extracted for legal reasons)'s fucking car with dynamite and (act extracted for legal reasons) in her fucking (body part extracted for creepy reasons), the fucking (sexist slur extracted for taste reasons). (27%)