My stomach hurts and I feel like I want to die.
a.) At least your dick hasn't fallen off, David...not yet anyways...muhahahaha!!! (25%)
b.) When I have a stomach ache, Dave Man, I utilize my great-grandmother's wonderful remedy: get knee-walking drunk on home-made alcohol and rob a 7-11 with a rusty steak-knife...works every time! (26%)
c.) Well, at least you HAVE a stomach, you whiny cry-baby!! Signed, George the Jelly-Fish (25%)
d.) Hey, look on the bright side of things, Davey Mac! You're still a wealthy man with non-red hair! ...Oh...oh, sorry, Davey Mac... (24%)