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I fell down thrice today.

How does a grown man fall down three times?  It should not happen to an individual who is sober at the time- which I was.  First, I got out of bed and tripped over one of my dumb-bells like a jackass.  That was number one.  Then, after it cutting way to close to get to my radio station where I proceed to rock the Jersey Shore, I flew out of my car and, with my shoes being untied, I slipped and fell down the fucking hill by the parking lot that leads to the station like a fucking idiot!!!  Number two.  Then later, while on the air, I picked up a lava lamp that we keep in the studio.  Not realizing that the lit-up, "lava" part of a lava lamp is generally NOT bolted into the base of the lamp, I tipped the lamp over and the glass part fell out- dropping to the floor.  Me, like a retarded shmizbo, jumped desperately after the lamp thinking I would catch it.  When I did not, the fucking thing exploded red fucking lava all over me, most noticeably on my white Adidas shoe. Boom. The trifecta of clumsy jiz-heads. Number three was safely in the books.  Anyway, have a good day, I plan to walk into a water fountain and have my testes region soaked in a few minutes. Bye!