The Davey Mac Sports Report goes on hiatus until Thursday, June 28th, because Davey Mac will be at Disney World, vacationing with his family!! In the meantime, you can get your fix of the Sports Report in the archive section!!
This is my first time going there, so I don’t know what to expect!! Other places that I have never been to include:
* Pretzel Land
* the dentist
* Planet Jizz
Anyway, I guarantee that my family has a great time at Disney World…that is…until I get detained by Disney Security for drunkenly slapping Donald Duck in the face for “talking like an asshole.” Seriously, Donald has been in show business for almost eighty fucking years, at some point this stupid animal should think about fixing his speech impediment!!! Hell, look at the Dave Man. It only took him seven years (between the ages of 6 and 13) for Dave to learn how to properly say the letter “R”. And yes, in full disclosure, it took another eighteen years to adequately pronounce an “S”. And, fine, I still cannot say the letter “T”…which makes it very embarrassing for me when I attend Mr. T conventions.
And, sure, I still stutter from time to time, like I’m Billy from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. And, yeah, like Billy, I have spent time in a “mental health facility”. And like Billy, I too enjoy hanging out with a large Native American man and a small Danny DeVito man.
But I’ve changed, dammit. I’ve evolved. I no longer kick children in the back of their legs and scream “Sneak attack!!” while doing it. I don’t fart into the bread basket anymore…then offer people a slice of Dave’s Secret Garlic Bread. Nor do I make fun of small animals behind their backs to my therapist. No. I’m a new man these days.
See? I now sit on very white floors where I concentrate to have a distinctly “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna touch you inappropriately” look. I also enjoy taking pictures like the one below that say, “Hey, I like shrubbery and staring up women’s skirts.”
Anyway, the Sports Report will return on Thursday, June 28th!! Go to the archive section if you’ve missed any!! AND the iTunes Davey Mac Sports Program and Davey Mac XL on Sirius XM Satellite Radio will all be back the week of June 27th!!! See you homies later!! Check in to EastSideDaveCountry.com every once in a while for pics or shit that I’ll try to post from Disney World!! Peace!!