I didn't sleep well last night. What do you think the problem was?
a.) Maybe the fact that you had ants on your mattress had something to do with it, David, you dirty, crackers-in-bed-eating jizz-mop!!! (22%)
b.) Perhaps, when you drink a cup of coffee in the evening, you should refrain from putting some cream and six packets of Meth in it. Just a thought, Dave Man. (24%)
c.) It's possible that you shouldn't let your dog Strummer sleep in the bed anymore. Also, and this is just a suggestion, maybe not let your pet squirrel Chummy, your snake Peel-Boy, your monkey Rabies, your pet worm Dig-Dug, your pet ewok Franz, your pet hobbit Bob, your pet robot Rusty, and your pet dildo Spikey, sleep in bed with you either. (28%)
d.) Did you have that nightmare again where Anderson Cooper chops his own dick off and makes you bob for it at knife-point? (26%)