I'm going to see Radiohead tonight in Newark! How awesome is this gonna be?!?!
a.) So awesome, Davey Mac, that you'll probably end up shitting your pants so much that the shit'll roll down your leg and into your socks and from hence forth people will call you "Shitless Joe Jackson"!!! (28%)
b.) It would be "awesome" if it wasn't in Newark, David. I hope Radiohead has a song called "Bullet Proof Vest"!!! (22%)
c.) I'm jealous, Dave Man!!! I wish I was going!! I'd do anything to see Radiohead!! Shit, I'd cut off my left testicle to see them live!! Honestly, I will cut it the fuck off right here if someone gives me a ticket!!! And even if they don't, I STILL will cut off my left testicle!!! Shit...who am I kidding...I just really want to cut off my left testicle is all...it has nothing to do with seein' Radiohead...I...I'm not even a music fan...I like playin' checkers, though!! Yeeeehhaaaww!!! (27%)
d.) My goldfish just died, so FUCK YOU, Dave, I'm not in the mood for any of this shit!!! (23%)