News & Videos

Original articles, news, and videos!

Poll-verizing! (Dave Poll of the Day- May 7)

  I just realized that I really don't like commuting into the city.  What can I do to make my commute shorter?

a.) You can buy a magic carpet and shove it up your ass, David, you unrealistic cum-head!!! (24%)

b.) Why don't you get a job closer to your house, Dave? ...For instance, maybe you could be a roadside shit salesman.  You know, one of those people who sells feces on the side of the road.  Man, I'm drunk as fuck right now. (26%)

c.) I don't like commuting either, Davey Mac.  That's why I work at home.  I run an online-nude-Star-Wars-characters-pottery business.  I don't make a lot of money. (27%)

d.) I still live with my parents and jerk off thrice a day!! (23%)