I just realized that now that we're done with Easter, past St. Patty's Day, and finished with Christmas, we have very few holidays remaining. What is left to look forward to?
a.) National Go Fuck Yourself Week just started, Dave Man...now go fuck yourself!! (23%)
b.) The Jizztivus begins tonight in my pants!! (28%)
c.) St. Poop's Day commences in about fifteen minutes after my third bowl of raisin bran!! (24%)
d.) How should I know what holiday comes next?!?! I don't even own a fucking calendar!!! I DO own, however, a nude sculpture I made with Play-Doh of Tom Berenger...I gave him an extra large cock!! (25%)