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This past Saturday's Davey Mac Sports Program XL is ready for YOU on Sirius XM On Demand!! Get liquored up and take your dick out!!
This past Saturday's Davey Mac Sports Program XL, aka "the number one show in the key animals with retardation demographic", is NOW available on Sirius XM On Demand!! And it's a damned good one!! Dave and Pepper talk about Vodka-Face Putin of Mother Russia stealing Super Bowl rings, the NBA Finals, kissies, farties, jizzies, and MORE!! Listen to the show NOW!!
Are you happy?
a.) FUCK yeah, Dave Man!! I usually castrate three to five Roofie'd mailmen/UPS drivers a day...so I'm damned productive!!
b.) I am relatively happy, David. Relative to the squirrel who I'm currently torturing.
c.) NO, I'm not happy, Davey Mac! My mom just caught me jerking off to her wedding photo album!!
d.) As my grandfather always said, "Happiness is like a fart waiting to be sucked out of the butt of a midget."
This week's episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is ready and willing to be bitten on its ass!! AND, we'll see you Saturday on SiriusXM!! (6/15/13)
Oh, hot dog, hot dog, hot DIGGITY dog!! This week's STELLAR episode of the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com just for you and your personal enjoyment, you sick freak!!! So subscribe to the show and then download that shit right now, you psychopath!!!
AND...don't forget to tune in this Saturday to the Davey Mac Sports Program XL, LIVE on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Go to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206/XM 103) for the dick-sucking action!! Later!!
I just farted.
a.) I don't smell anything, Davey Mac!! Then again, I recently won a Who-Can-Saw-Their-Nose-Off-The-Quickest contest! So maybe THAT has something to do with it!! Ahhhhhh!!! (24%)
b.) That's gross, David. Not as gross as me shoving my fingers in a turtle butt...but gross nonetheless... (25%)
c.) I farted, TOO, Dave Man!! Maybe we can be Fart Friends and touch each other!! (26%)
d.) Fuck this poll. (25%)
Yes, gentleman and ladies...hot...sweaty...pretty ladies...oh yeah...YEAH...this post if off to a fucking SEXY start!! ...Wait. Sorry. I got side-tracked there, boys and gals...wet...big-titted...smell like chocolate syrup and 7-Up slutty gals...
...Sorry again. I haven't spanked it in six days and I think the jizz is affecting me. Anyway, this week's moist and VERY fuck-able Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is NOW up on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com and ready to be suckled and for a pinky finger to go into its ass!! Enjoy it!! Oh YEAAHHHHHHH!! TOUCH IT!!! NOW BITE IT!!! AHHHHHRRRGHH!!
What do you like most about me?
a.) My habit of kicking racist toddlers in the face (24%)
b.) My superb canine-strangling technique which made me back-to-back champion at the 1997-98 Dog-Killing Championships (25%)
c.) My skillful ability to put feces in rest home pillow cases and have unsuspecting old people lay their elderly, naive heads on my shit when they're sleeping (25%)
d.) My talent of jerking off in public libraries, county jails, and convents (26%)
FUCK YEAH!!! It's the Davey Mac Movie-thon!! A night of East Side Dave's genius comedy videos, booze (LOTS of booze), and celebrity guests...and it will take place on June 18th at The Stand comedy club in New York City!! Join Davey Mac and other special guests for an evening of short films that will blow Martin Scorcese's fucking dick off!! Click on THIS LINK for tickets!! See you then, dogsies!!
You trust the man in the photo above, don't you? Because if you do...you're make a BIG fucking mistake!! That man will tickle you and your loved ones inappropriately (while giggling creepily) the first chance he gets!! And nothing will ever be the same!! Anyway, risk your own personal safety by tuning in to the Davey Mac Sports Program this evening!! Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern for the poor if not downright illegal behavior and invasion of privacy!! Keep your dicks and pussies safe, people!! See ya!
I have been sick for at least a week. What is happening to me?
a.) Maybe putting all those rusty nails into your dick-hole has finally caught up with you, Dave Man!! You dumb son of a bitch!!! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go staple my ass to the wall!! (27%)
b.) It's possible that you have a venereal disease, David. In fact...it's downright probable. I injected you with chlamydia while you were passed out the other night. (23%)
c.) You might have what I have, Davey Mac- a bad case of Shit-AIDS. (29%)
d.) I wish I didn't have to participate in these insane polls. (21%)
Two new Davey Mac shows are available right fucking NOW!!! What the shit are you waiting for?! Download them already!!! (5/30/13)
For shit's sake, the shows are gosh-damned FREE!! So, go listen to this week's explosive Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) on iTunes and/or RiotCast.com!!! Enjoy stories of David and his spotted penis, Roy Shaffer's strange trip to L.A., the NBA Playoffs, Pepper's rising coke habit, and Sean O's dead baby storage facility!! It's a blockbuster episode, homies!!!
And when you're done with that, go check out our AWESOME movie show- The Watchers!!! Subscribe to and listen to the show on iTunes and/or Stitcher.com!!! The guys chat about the HBO Liberace movie (Behind The Candelabra), Oliver Stone's Savages, Will Smith's son, and MORE!! It's FUCKTACULAR!!!
Enjoy the shit, peeps!!!
It's fucking hot today...and it's gonna be hotter all weekend. How do you deal with the heat?
a.) Usually I fly up to Alaska, Dave Man, and murder three to five Eskimos! Ka-BLAM!!! (26%)
b.) In order to cool down I do what most people do, David...I stick an ice pop into my dick-hole while strangling a penguin. (25%)
c.) Shit, Davey Mac!! I LOVE warm weather!! I ALSO enjoy taking nude pictures of my mom while she is on the toilet and pinching dead people! (24%)
d.) I stay indoors and jerk off to Fargo. (25%)
Shit yeah, peeps!! The Davey Mac Sports Program is LIVE this evening on the Internet!! Go to the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern for the shit!! Join Dave- voted "Most likely to secretly video-tape an older woman pooing in a public rest room"; Pepper- winner of the 1985 Fart Championships; Sean O- once separated a pair of Siamese twins...only to re-attach them again; and Roy Shaffer- who punched Liberace in the face...after he was dead. We'll see you this evening on the East Side Dave Happy Times Channel on Ustream at 7 PM Eastern!! Peace!!
So much damned pollen in the air...I think I may be dying. What do you suggest I do?
a.) First, put a fire-cracker straight up your ass, Dave Man. Secondly, light it. And third, chop your dick off, you fucking cry-baby. (26%)
b.) Do what I do, David...find the nearest old person on the sidewalk and kick them in the stomach. (24%)
c.) Davey Mac, I have an excellent home remedy for getting better! Go to the puppy store and get your FUCK on!! (27%)
d.) I'm calling the police on options A, B, and especially C. (23%)
Would you like to touch it?
a.) If by "it" you mean your ass, Dave Man, and "touch" you mean tie it to a flag pole in the center of a Mexican village and detonate it like a pale, fleshy pinata...then HELLS YEAH!! (27%)
b.) This poll question is too creepy for me, David. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go remove the eye balls of my mother's corpse who I'm keeping in my bed. (23%)
c.) I would LOVE to touch it, Davey Mac, but I just lost a bet and had to chop off my arms!! Oh well!! (26%)
d.) I just called the S.W.A.T. team, Dave...you have about thirty seconds to evacuate, you fucking pervert. (24%)
Let's go!! You know you WANT it!! Then touch it!! Touch it nice!! Yeah!!! That's good!! Owwww!! Not so rough!! Hey, you're biting it!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! We're bleeding!!! Listen to this past Saturday's explosive Davey Mac Sports Program XL on Sirius XM Satellite Radio!! Go to Sirius XM On Demand and hear the show!!! Owwwww!!! Call 9-1-1!!! We're fucking bleeding!!!
How was your weekend?
a.) Excellent, Dave Man!! I tied to turtles together and blew them up with dynamite!! Yeeehhhaaww!! (24%)
b.) I didn't do anything special, David. I just stayed home and glued my dick to a jigsaw puzzle. (26%)
c.) I got so drunk, Davey Mac, that I somehow woke up with no right hand!!! That's the last time I go to a Wine 'N' Severed Limbs party!!! (27%)
d.) I just farted. (23%)
Oh yeah, sweet shits!! The Davey Mac Sports Program XL is LIVE as always this Saturday on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, and we want YOU to join us and maybe even jerk it with us for a while!! Tune in to the Opie & Anthony Channel (Sirius 206, XM 103) at 7 PM Eastern, 4 Pacific, for a radio fuck-fest!! Call in at 866-WOW-1-WOW!!! Topics for the show shall include:
* Chiclets- we know it's a gum but the name sounds borderline racist to us.
* America's favorite concert pianist, Michael Van Pee, plays his brilliant new piece, poetically titled- "I Wish I Could Slam My Wife's Head Into The Mailbox Over And Over Again...The Lying Bitch"
* Country music's newest stars, the Tits Sisters, perform their new hit- "Fuck Us In The Ass, America"
* Canada's greatest surgeon, Dr. Edward Jumms, discusses his new memoir- When My (Male) Patients Are Under Anesthesia, I Often Stick My Fingers In Their Asses
* And Dave and Pepper cut each other's dicks off!
We'll see you Saturday, dogsies!!
Suck ya later...dicks!!!
I have horrible allergies. Help me.
a.) Sure, Davey Mac! I'll help you...by fucking your ass with my over-sized, blue-ribbon, county fair-winning zucchini, you sick son of a bitch!! (26%)
b.) I don't help anyone with anything, David. And that includes my pet duck, Puffy, when he started quacking in horror for help as I was eating his brain. (23%)
c.) I'm in jail, Dave Man. No can do!!! (24%)
d.) I'll help you, Diddy...by cutting off your fucking nose and feeding it to my grandpa!! Hahahaha!! ...I'm also in jail... (27%)
Correctomundo!! Barring Sirius XM Satellite Radio exploding like the Death Star (which is possible), the Davey Mac Sports Program XL from this past Saturday will be up in the On Demand section today!! Check it the fuck out!! Dave and Pepper rock and jock the shit out of broadcasting!! Gabe gets a new nick-name!! Medina murders Cousin Brucie's producer!! Grapes are eaten!! Booze is drunk!! And four to five Canadians are sacrificed!! Enjoy!!