Make sure you're kind to your Presidents today. For instance, if you see a befuddled President standing at the traffic light with a confused look on his dopey face, help that President cross the street...you'll be doing him a favor. Also, remember NOT to pet any President that you see with a white, frothy substance near the mouth...for that President has rabies. Lastly, do not spill water on the Presidents NOR feed them after midnight...all kinds of bad shit happens when you do that.
Now that you know the rules, go out there and have a fun and SAFE Presidents' Day! God bless you! God bless America! God bless Aliens! What was that noise?! Where's my gun?! Ahhh!! We're under attack!! HELP!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! WE'RE BEING INVADED!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!
- President David