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East Side Dave Welcomes You To The Planet Earth!

This message is for any extraterrestrial life in our wonderful galaxy.

Good day, alien-dogsies.  My name is David and I rule.  Literally.  When you see how Planet Earth operates, you will quickly discover this fact.  The Dave Man (that's what some people call me) is the ambassador for human beings and all species who do not like wearing pants.  It's a pleasure meeting you, even if your odd, alien faces don't contain noses.  Smelling is over-rated anyway.  Welcome to Earth, baby!

- Sir "East Side" Dave McDonald, Human Ambassador to the Stars