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It's Go Time.

Ladies and gentleman, let me introduce myself.  My name is David and I am the greatest Jedi who ever lived.  I can de-lid jars of peanut butter with my mind.  I've skillfully used my lightsaber to open many a UPS package.  I've made crossing-guards suddenly levitate in the air (via the Force), so that I could continue walking without them telling Master David when to go.  I rule.  Have a nice day.

- Dave Skywalker