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Copy Machines: Simply Confusing? Or Murder Traps?

I'm here doing our morning show (Carl & Dave and the Morning Rat Race) on Jersey's legendary, WRAT, 95.9 FM; and I'm realizing that I cannot work the copy machine.  Where do you put the paper in?  Is this thing a scanner?  Or do I insert the paper into some sort of slot to make the copies?  I often get so confused, I just stare (two inches away) from said copy machine and alternately scream and cry at my inability to work it.  Ah, screw it.  Who needs to make copies of their W-2 forms and death-wills anyway?  Bye, dogsie!

- East Side Dave