Man, I'm simultaneously watching the Yankees play a day game and Apocalypse Now, Francis Ford Coppola's epic and trippy film about the Vietnam War. And while very fun, viewing both the Yanks and Apocalypse at the same time can get confusing. For instance, I could have sworn that I saw a bugged-out Dennis Hopper (wearing too many cameras around his neck) try to steal second base. Furthermore, is my mind playing tricks on me or did left-fielder Brett Gardner just rise up out of a mud-river and slay Marlon Brando with a sword? And when did the Yankees change their seventh-inning song to "The End" by the Doors? The horror!!
- East Side Dave