With all due respect to the late, great Robert Shaw (who was one Hell of an actor), I feel like my thespian talents could have done a more than adequate job in the role of "Quint" from the movie Jaws. I mean, granted, I have no actual acting experience except for a man lube commercial, a TruTV sketch, and my World's Worst Tattoos appearance, but I'm sure Spielberg could have carried my non-acting ass. As an aside, these are the things that I think about when I mix and consume NyQuil and DayQuil as if I'm a bi-polar version of Bill Nye "The Science Guy" (who, quite frankly, doesn't seem that stable himself). Oh, well. Maybe I'll get my shot in Jaws 5.
- "East Side Quint"