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Here's Looking At YOU, Kid!

Literally!  I don't want to alarm you but I'm staring at you through a camera that I've secretly installed on your phone and computer for YOUR protection.  This new program, the D.C.S. (Dave's Creepy Surveillance), is designed to make you and your loved ones feel at ease as I spy on you with short-shorts on.  See you on WRAT, 95.9 FM at 6 AM (EST)!