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Happy Mother's Day, Mom!! Now where's my damned Beanie Cup?!?!

                                   Not pictured: the Beanie Cup

For those of you who may not know, each year during the end of Christmas morning, my family awards one family member (parent, child, etc.) the Beanie Cup, which is essentially a large trophy in the style of the Stanley Cup given to the recipient who had a noteworthy year.  This "fun" tradition has been going on for over twenty years now.  And guess what?  I STILL haven't won the God-Damned Beanie Cup!!!  That's it!!  I'm fuckin' suing!!!!