The thing you forget when you don't have a beard is just how fucking cold it is in the winter. Jack Frost nipping at my nose? More like Jack Frost fucking at my ass!!! My goodness, human beings were NOT meant to have their chins exposed in these Viking-esque conditions!! I thought I loved in New Jersey, not Fargo!! And if I do live in Fargo, then where is that fucking suitcase with all the money?!?! I want some fucking pancakes!!!
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