I woke up and the fucking thing was gone!!! I've had that beard for FIVE sweet-dick years and now it has disappeared!! Well, I NEVER!!!
...Just kidding. I shaved it off. Maybe I'm just re-enacting that scene in Pink Floyd's The Wall where that crazy fucker takes a razor to his eye brows. Hey, asshole...you're never gonna get a half-decent job with no eye brows. I should know...that's how I lost out on that C.I.A. analyst position.....or maybe that was because I once pissed on a French baby.