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I am calling on you, Disney World, to fly me and my family down to your resort.

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I promise I'll behave, Disney World.  I won't get too drunk and vomit on Goofy again.  Nor will I go to the automated Hall of Presidents show (while drunk, of course) and throw my shoe at the John Adams robot.  And I definitely won't get in the faces of little children when on line for Space Mountain and scream (drunkenly) in their sweet, tiny faces- "We're all gonna fuckin' die!!!!"

Come on, Disney World.  Have a heart.  I've been a relatively decent person this year, aside from kicking that homeless woman in the ear and lighting my uncle's house on fire. 

Make our dreams come true, Disney!  Or it'll be the biggest fucking mistake you ever make!!!