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Little East Side Dave would make Santa's eyes roll back.

I don't know why, but Santa Claus's from all over New Jersey LOVED when I sat on their laps.  Look at this fucking guy here.  This God-Damned creep is probably serving time, but at least I gave his convicted ass a few moments of pleasure that day.  Merry Christmas, you filthy fucking animal.

Little David McDonald would go on to great glory wetting the bed.