A nice young gentleman named Jon Pine showed me on Twitter that ESPN recently put "Roy Rage" on their website after Colorado Avalanche coach Patrick Roy almost got into a fight with the Anaheim Ducks' coach.
As many of you know, one of our popular segments on the Davey Mac Sports Program (online version) is when our keyboardist, Roy Shaffer, tells us what is bothering him. This segment is entitled "Roy Rage."
Now, I am going to try and speak calmly and level-headedly. As the rightful originator of "Roy Rage", ESPN, you owe me ONE MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS OR YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING MEAT, SHIT-FARTS!!!!
I'm serious, you sons of bitches!!! I want MINE!! I'll stuff Chris Berman into a God Damned barrel and throw him in the fucking river if I don't get MINE!! At the very least, give me a TV show on ESPN 2!! In fact, consider this whole insane fucking diatribe a God Damned job application, you dick-noses!!! I'll take Neil Everett and shove a piece of celery up his ass until I get MINES!!! I'll piss all over John Clayton and let small animals bite his dick until my reasonable demands are met, tit-hats!!!!
...This has been Dave's Two Cents.