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My birthday is THIS Friday!!!

     What are you getting me?  I don't want any more dildo's.  I already have enough due to my part-time job as an out-of-the-trunk-of-his-car-dildo salesman.  NOR do I wish for the following: 

* Paintings or any artwork centered around farts.


* Small animals whose natural faces look like they're smiling.  They freak my shit out.  Ever seen a lemur when you're real high?  That little son of a bitch will just sit on a tree branch when you're smoking up and stare at you with his evil, menacing grin and God Dammit, it'll make you want to jump out of the fucking window.

* Illegally-obtained dick pics of Matt Lauer.

* Legally-obtained tit pics of my mom. 

* Boxed poop.


     What I would suggest is a small, rational, and kind donation to this website via the donate section (


.......a LARGE, INSANE,  and FUCKED-UP donation of, like, $1,200 to this damned website!!!  Yeeeehhaaaww!!!  Partaaaaayy!!!  The way I see it, I have over 27,000 followers on Twitter, over 5700 friends on Facebook, over 4000 Dave Pound Pals on Google+, and over 5200 Tickle Buddies on Instagram....therefore, if everyone gave a humble donation, I'd have enough money to shove a stuffed carrot up my boss' ass as I roller-skated out the door with my dick out!!  Let's get crazy!!!  Anyway, happy birthday to me!!!

Davey Mac the Magic Man.jpg