Did you have a nice weekend?
a.) Hell yeah! I went swimming in my friend's pool and only pissed in it four times! Oh, and I also farted in the pool once. And, yes, I made a poop in the pool once...ok, fine, twice...alright, alright, THRICE...but I really had to go!!!
b.) I had a great weekend. I honored those who served in our country's military by dressing up neighborhood squirrels as V.C. and then napalm-ing the SHIT out of them.
c.) My weekend wasn't so great. It rained where I live so rather than going to the beach like everyone else, I could only stay home and stab my dick with Number Two penciils.
d.) We had an awesome three days! We took lots of LSD and barbecued some terrific squirell meat that one of my friends brought over! It tasted a little napalm-y if you ask me, but