Breaking News- the Spurs are good! (5/30/12)
It’s your May Thirtieth Davey Mac Sports Report and the Spurs are simply awesome. They put the screws to the Thunder once again last night (120 to 111) and now have a two games to none advantage in the Western Conference Finals. I always forget how great San Antonio is. Shitties, I forget a lot about San Antonio in general. I know there’s something about that town that I should be remembering, but, shit homie, I just can’t. I just don’t remember. I guess when it comes to San Antone, I’m just one forgetful son of a bitch, not remembering shit and whatnot. Maybe I should lay off the Pot & Beer Saturdays that I enjoy so much. Or perhaps I should quit my Crack & Gasoline Thursdays. I don’t know…maybe it’s just time to quit my Dog Shit & Pain Thinner Mondays. Fuck it…I swears…until I remember that thing from San Antone that I’m currently forgetting, NO MORE Poison & Al Roker Cum Tuesdays!!! I promise!!!!
The Clippers have announced that they will retain head coach Vinny Del Negro, despite rumors that he was going to be fired. One stipulation that the Clipper organization should put into his contract is that he change his racist name. I mean, what kind of bigoted bastard walks around L.A. calling himself Vinny “The Negro” when he’s not even black?!?!?! Hey Vinny, this isn’t the late 1980′s, times have changed!!! Put away your prejudice, “The Negro”!!! As an aside, this journalist intends to change his name to Davey “The Limey” in order to audition for a Guy Ritchie movie. Blimey!!!
Tonight In Your Sports Universe (predictions and pontifications):
* The Stanley Cup Finals begin as New Jersey takes on L.A. Special half-time show as “The Situation” fights Randy Newman to the death in a cage match.
* Game 2 between Miami and Boston in the Eastern Conference Finals. Touching performance of the National Anthem by Gloria Estefan as she sings and chokes out Tom Scholz before a sold-out crowd.
* The Angels try to win nine straight as L.A. takes on New York. During the seventh inning stretch, watch for Randy Newman to emerge from his cage match with “Sitch” in order to decapitate Marky Ramone.
The Davey Mac Player of the Day goes to Michigan recruit Logan Tuley-Tillman who tweeted a picture of himself burning Michigan rival Ohio State’s recruitment letter to him. Tuley-Tillman has since received a ton of threats online. People shouldn’t get so mad at this. I remember one time, at the height of the Red Sox – Yankees rivalry, Ted Williams taking a photo of himself skull-fucking a mannequin head that he sculpted to look like Joe DiMaggio. And let me tell you, the REAL Joe DiMaggio was none too pleased!!!
See you guys this evening on Ustream at 7 PM (EST) for the Davey Mac Sports Program! Peace!
-Dave (5/30/12)
